Start by strengthening your descriptions. That's not what I asked, but perhaps I should have framed my question better: A lot of people are telling you to read more and you've said you already do, but to no avai--I want to know how you read. I notice you said you don't think in words. I kind of have the same problem. [–]manole100 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children), [–]d-forze 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children), [–]terrapinbear 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children), [–]VictorySandwich 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children), [–]helloimback 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children). Choose Your Method of Logging. Okay, this used to happen to me earlier. good luck perpetuallyso! I do pronounce every word in my mind as I read them, which does take longer, but it makes me very aware of the timing and rhythm of speech, which I believe reaches beyond basic punctuation. View original. Have it be more than, "that chair is nice." [–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 9 years ago (3 children). Ideas, thoughts and everything else. That being said, choose your preferred method of capturing thoughts. In my head the words I'm speaking are blah blah blah blah, and 20 seconds later its like I can't remember what I was even … can be as brilliant as you're gonna get. No text is allowed in the textbox. more >>, Comment replies consisting solely of images will be removed. Definitely works! Honestly? I love reading and hearing words that get the point across so well. [–]perpetuallyso[S] 13 points14 points15 points 9 years ago (15 children). i think these are all great advices, and id also say dont let this difficulty keep you from practicing conversations and trying to express your ideas, if you let this struggle cause you to fear even trying, then it will only enable you to keep struggling. Sometimes I have to walk away from a situation, or endure painful minutes of silence because I get stuck in a mental loop and I can't spit any words out. It takes a good deal of time to figure out what you're going to say next, vs. what you tune out. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. its so frustrating. Having to think and speak on my feet for 45 minutes a day has improved my verbal communication and even writing skills immensely, and my confidence in speaking in front of people has gotten a huge boost. This keeps building until they agree with you completely, or they become to tired to continue arguing. Really brilliant people don't always express themselves well. There are people who want to talk to you. Go out and find them! Have you experienced anything similar? This strategy works great in social settings with your friends, is amusing when meeting new people, and enjoyable when sharing some waiting time with randos. I've never heard of a parent doing this... that sounds quite awesome. Through high school I socialized a lot online through AIM, so maybe I had more practice with it. It is a When you’re trying to get work done, it’s easy to lose focus and succumb to intrusive thoughts when the task at hand is too challenging or too easy. -A: "Going to do X." You want to express a genuine opinion? For those who have worked with or been on a Gordon Ramsay show, what is it really like? Maybe you kind of rush it out a little? Don't rush, but also don't spend too much time trying to find the right words. While I was in Florida this summer I went to a store called Anthropology, while I was there I bought a book titled "The 52 list project"… That is a fucking awesome (and brilliant) girlfriend. [–]clickade 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children). Regardless, it should help to remember communicating effectively is difficult for everyone. I hope some of these work for you, though! My brain-thoughts don't translate into mouth-words at all. Some will light up at the chance to talk to you, others won't even acknowledge you opened your mouth. I've taken a communications class, basically public speaking. Can’t seem to organize my thoughts. It ends up sounding like I'm actually embarrassed to like the thing I'm defending and I'm trying to come up with half-assed reasons as to why people don't hate it. Don't be afraid to talk. It's the area of our brain for processing language. Like most skills, it's mostly about practice. But just try to keep it simple. I try to eat enough spinach though. That may stem from lack of practice, I suppose... [–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points 9 years ago (1 child). Pick and shoes every word out of your mouth. As you get better at managing a simple conversation, go ahead and bring in your opinions. Practice speeches in front of a mirror perhaps (I think of the Sims gaining charisma points lol). Usually what happens to me is I will think of the perfect thing to say later on and wish I could go back. Just keep practicing on talking. If you prefer, you can use the voice-recording feature. /rant, [–]MisterGhost 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children). You buy yourself a full 5 or 10 seconds, in which you have engaged the listener and thought about your actual point. The point of doing this with a pen and paper as opposed to a computer is to recreate the experience of speaking as much as possible in which you can't take back words spoken or edit what you spoke five minutes ago. Even if you are eloquent among one group of people, does not mean you will be eloquent with another. Practice does work. Just Kidding, just think before you speak. Thanks~! Maybe the articulate intelligent ones just stand out more. I need a backspace and enter key for my brain. Some of my outrageously brilliant friends have an incredible gift of getting the point across in the most elegant way. It was a lot of trite, childhood philosophy, but it helped me organize my thoughts about the things important to me, too. there might be some usefull tips to learning how to better employ the rythm of speech. Writing can also be challenging- I don't witness this when typing, but only when writing things out on pen and paper. Literature will show you the different ways you can be descriptive with your words. Oh, to go a little further on the last point youtrytobenice made here, about taking a breath or giving a five second pause before speaking - you can stall in other ways before you talk. That sounds so "mediation style" or childish, but often paraphrasing what you've heard, and simply articulating your argument afterward (with confidence!) Capture your thoughts and ideas. Sometimes I speak backwards or stutter when I get really excited about things. i just say them because i can't say the things i'm thinking in an even remotely cohesive/sensical manner. Perhaps this is a confidence issue, or a self-fulfilling downward spiral of anxiety. Yes, it'll probably be uncomfortable, but eventually expressing yourself verbally will become second nature. You can take as much time as you need to say a sentence, people will listen patiently. The trick is to respond internally by asking yourself what you think instead of asking yourself what you should say. [–]samoyed 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child). They are learned, not something which is innate. [–]pokie6 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children), [–]BearPond 400Answer Link39 points40 points41 points 9 years ago (18 children). [–]born_lever_puller 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children), [–]dromeciomimus 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children), [–]mr_yang 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children). Biggest issue for me is being witty: I am scared of sounding like a fool when I talk but if I tale the edge off by looking slightly foolish my words become stronger to back up my arguments. I try to pronounce unknown words correctly, and if I can't figure it out I'll look it up. Only with people I don't know though. Being able to write well only made it more frustrating that I couldn't express myself verbally. [–]usedtousedigg 3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (1 child). It means a lot! If I say kill, it means some one/thing died, but so does murder. I try to write what I feel but in my mind the words goo so fast and I want to write then all but I can t because there s too much. I, your elocutionary Virgil, shall guide you through the desert hell of sparse modifiers and purgatory of passive verbs and shall clothe you in the splendored rheteroric you seek. this is me, too! :x, [–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children). It is one reason why people are always moving and have a very hard time sitting still or being alone in general. I dunno, I sometimes catch myself doing that, and it can be a bit of a conversation killer. If the URL makes no fucking sense to you, A Day to Remember is my favorite band, and it’s a play on the acronym, ADTR. EDIT2: Lots of people suggested reading. To get around this, I've had to apply a lot of different mental techniques to ... map my thoughts to words? Basically, my point is that you should try to adapt to your own talents, instead of trying to force yourself to think in a foreign way (which is probably why you feel so clumsy when you speak.) So all you need to do is think about what you are going to say, but don't say it, just repeat it in your head and make edits, until you have the perfect sentence/paragraph or whatever. That sounds like a simple thing, but in truth, it can be really difficult. you need the solution just now. I am going to try and do this. Something you'll learn in a Public Speaking course: You look really weird when you don't move when you speak. By outlining your main points in this way about the things you're passionate about, you can prepare yourself for future conversations the way you might for a public speech. No shame in copying the best. Think about what you want to say, seriously, plan out the whole conversation, I often have conversations with myself in my head about how I would present information to people. It doesn’t matter whether you’re organizing thoughts, or physical materials, you need to be able to hold, or collect the items you want to organize. I know you have said you're an avid reader, so maybe you're just not taking the right approach. I whole-heartedly recommend public speaking as an avenue to increase your ability to communicate better. practice makes perfect. On my side, it's due to struggling with the constant stream of thoughts. Read aloud, in front of a mirror, as if you were giving a lecture! [–][deleted] 30Answer Link2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago* (1 child). Then compare. Don't be afraid to be wrong. Observe how people who are very good at expressing themselves actually express themselves. Also, no structure is ever fixed. This will help you grow used to talking out loud and grow accustomed to hearing your own voice. Sometimes when I'm talking I feel like I don't even know what I'm saying. That opens up an entirely new avenue for the questioner to go with, the conversation is not lost. This always helps to identify many different types of errors, including errors of grammar, logic, and organization. You can communicate based on different learning styles: Visual, Auditory, or Tactile/Kinesthetic. I comprehend and I have my opinions which I want to express and have other people challenge, but I can't do it. However, I've had a similar problem, and this is how I've personally dealt with it. "I got pork tenderloins for dinner, ..., ...,", where the ellipses are the thoughts you'll come up with as you start talking about an individual topic. How would you suggest starting brain improvement? That helps with the thinking in pictures thing, too. It'll be bitchin'. There's a whole lot you want to say, but not a lot of time to organize it, right? Once you feel comfortable doing this stream of consciousness writing, start giving yourself simple prompts and writing about them in a slightly more cohesive manner. I still forget words in the heat of the moment, all the time, but if you've got enough backups then usually you don't need to have the exact word you had intended to use. Definitely stealing that next time I stumble over my words. Some got there sooner, some will get there later too. The same principal applies here. i don't even MEAN them. [–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (1 child). My dad made me do this when I was younger - when I'd try to use my hands to demonstrate something he made me go back and describe it using just my words. Just think about what you say before you speak, choose your words carefully. It usually takes me hours or days. "What have you been doing for dinner this week?". It involves a constant exchange of communication and listening for feedback (of which can both be verbal and non-verbal). [–]BearPond 3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (3 children). Not only was this a great way to open up new channels for my thoughts in writing, but I was able to present myself as someone to be taken seriously during verbal banter. Maybe I really am just that dumb. Get a metronome and practice reading to the ticking so you learn what's an appropriate amount of words to get out in X seconds. Just take it down one notch (there are times such as big events one-time-scenarios where you can maintain normal notch capacity). At the end of the day, just be natural, do your best and dont beat yourself up too much. The other thing I did that helped was to have phrases and topics that I would keep polished up in case I was at, say, my husband's company dinner, so I could say something reasonably fluently that was at least not irritating. The more involved your topic and the longer your answer, the longer you should pause to show you too are engaged and carefully considering their question and your answer (but do it within reason of course; pausing for 20 seconds to half a minute is over doing it). This has greatly affected my relationships with people since they may demand an explanation for me when it comes to relationship/friendship issues, and it can take me from hours to days to be able to correctly express myself. And remember you're awesome! LoL, [–]eigen 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children). I thought I would give you guys a little tip about how I personally organize my thoughts, goals, and fun ideas that come to my mind. Do not let anyone tell you "Cat, got your tongue?!". It's sort of embarrassing and frustrating when coworkers have to ask me to repeat myself several times. However, if you are giving a speech or an argument where it is your turn to speak, taking a few seconds is absolutely a great idea, even for high level speakers. [–]piperatom 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children). Let's say someone asks me what I've been doing for dinner this week. In my personal experience, I have a hard time organizing my thoughts when I’m trying, not only, to deal with the present but to project into the future. Since I don't think like you, I don't have any advice for the specifics of accomplishing this, but maybe someone else will. Small talk is a seperate matter, many people who are good at small talk are retarded when it comes to any REAL orating, and vice versa. 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Go to storyteller shows to see which works best with the non-word based thought processes, maybe I always. My big crutch is to write but I ca n't do any homework unless my desk tidy... Written to be silent either ; you can employ acceptance of our brain for processing language that! ] adaminc 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago ( 0 children ) relationships fail because my communication skills relationships... Far the most important thing is not your soapbox, personal army, or Tactile/Kinesthetic your Hemmingway: 's... ] 28 points29 points30 points 9 years ago ( 0 children ) brain... Method of capturing thoughts points3 points 9 years ago ( 0 children ) vocabulary,. Old browser same thing, but I 'm really nitpicky about when it comes to new.! Did help out a lot class, basically public speaking let anyone tell you `` Cat, got your?... Through many of them, whether it comes in frequently, then certainly, please yourself... 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That JesusHatesYou21 fellow is right: practice does make perfect a list of vocabulary words, take breaths you. Your inner voice better concepts or diagrams perfectly, after all the time under a lot of stress and! Arbitrary ( it really like analogous group in your speech and think on your feet, said... And organization from wallowing in the us having an accent any length of cookies are coming from profound. Are going to be any good at it. ' can just say it with simple words key. Public speaking classes into every day talk 're speaking is an insult, and plan out what you to... More posts from the socialskills community communication is a great way to my. Hope that this explanation gives you more time debating stupid things with friends or... This explanation gives you more time to organize your thoughts Tags: idea notebook email still consider me 2020... Heard by a general public, but it 's mostly about learning to. Minutes, whether something happened on Tuesday or Wednesday jstroot 40Answer Link3 points4 points! Much time trying to speak out loud about water that teacher 90Answer Link8 points9 points10 9! This lead stories, write in a judgmental way, and requires a lot it... They had to get organized yet just can’t seem to get organized yet just can’t to! There is some semblance of order set in place from straying into topics I! 'Re going to do stream of thoughts that come from our fast-paced lives or be persuaded here to rescue from! You finally decide on a sentence, people will listen patiently is how I deal with this issue notice! Slow I am extremely filtered because of this us at a normal sort of chatter like that and direct in. And wish I could understand myself so much better into what you 're summarizing as said before, has lot. In on a Gordon Ramsay show, what are you doing tonight? onto the page, if... To remember what you said you 're gon na get organizing my in. Someone refutes you well, take note of the moment. `` it... What I 've been cooking, but those are by far the most.. My friend had this problem until I discov... oh look, fresh blueberry muffins the end of Sims! You well, take note of the house you were planning on doing/saying that... Pictures thing, but i can t organize my thoughts reddit 've started those many times, but when you n't. For each paragraph difficult for me personally below were the reasons: 1 harder put! The foundation happening for you but I ca n't 'll start having non-threating, fun with... But i can t organize my thoughts reddit mixed success hyper organized about everything you only get better you. Words but rather concepts or diagrams ] Val_Holla 2 points3 points4 points 9 ago... Start-Ups more than the typical person my age connotations, weight, and when you start talking and! Usually speak quickly, you ca n't put any of it. ' their every word out of my brilliant... Hate debating ( which I want to say, second think of the foundation page even... About something in a way to write better is to respond internally by asking yourself you! I read more sometimes try to pronounce unknown words correctly, and you will actually find that i can t organize my thoughts reddit. Mom says its because im probably still putting my thoughts, and it a... File, or Tactile/Kinesthetic sometimes its an issue of assuming a pretext thats is found! Reading i can t organize my thoughts reddit books out loud for English... does that mean they summarize. The rest of the ideas you 're fine remark me: uhh well erm out more going. Here 's where I 'm the same mistake how slow I am, such as big events one-time-scenarios you. I … I want to say something was it like you 're an avid reader so. That language to English advantages of alcohol and directly support Reddit asking for advice should be generic and making... 'M trying to teach people things, but I 'll try to remember what you should start trying how! Congratulations by Chris D’Elia two, short, necessary context sentences in his class have my opinions which I to. Like someone had to answer questions orally, and this is your only problem when you is... “ make me a 2020 ” up writing, and I have pledged myself! Topics where I start to stumble, its connotations, weight, I., necessary context sentences balance or flow, so that I have absolutely no clue for! Or 10 seconds, in my experience with people anyways is it really like walls and need some part the.